+ mindset

Last week I talked about the importance of a positive relationship. This week I wanted to motivate you and discuss the impact of a positive mindset.

Story time: Whenever I heard the word positivity or having a positive mindset, I cringed inside. I associated that with being nice about everything and being nice to everyone. I then associated that with being a "fake" person. Why? Because I was a negative person. It had never occurred to me until about two years ago. I was definitely a person that always saw the glass half empty and could not trust anyone but myself. My first initial opinion on anything tended to always be a negative opinion or a negative response. It was easier to complain about things that way. Can anybody else relate?

How did I get out of the negative mindset phase? It took my mentors indirectly calling me out on it in college. No one likes getting called out on anything, especially when it pertains to yourself. After indirectly being called out on it, I took time to self-reflect. Why was I so negative? Is it truly having an impact on reaching my goals? How long and why have I been like this?

Truth be told, I have had a negative mindset for awhile, it was getting in the way of me reaching my goals.

My last full year of college, I made the choice to change my mindset and it was the best thing that has happened in my life so far! *Not trying to be dramatic here, but it made a huge difference!* When taking time to self-reflect, the first thing I did was looking at the people I was interacting with and surrounding myself with. I learned that if you are surrounding yourself with negative people, people that drain the energy out of you or people who do not appreciate you, you should slowly start to pull yourself away from those people. This is definitely hard to do, but even if it is for only a little while, you can see the difference and maybe those people will notice and ask why.

Next Step: putting myself and my happiness first. Some may say it is selfish, I call it selfless and time to grow. When doing this, I found myself way happier and starting to take things from a negative to a positive mindset. Once this all started happening, I stated succeeding academically and personally. I started to realize who Emily was, who I wanted to be, and what I wanted to do with my life. *Note: Many know that I am not an in your face, ray of sunshine and never have been but that does not mean I can't have a positive mindset.*

*disclaimer: I STILL HAVE MY NEGATIVE DAYS AND ITS OKAY!*

Let's be honest here, this crazy thing we call life is not always "rainbows and butterflies". Life is hard and there are days that test you and you deserve to pout and complain, I do it, but now I try NOT to drag everyone around me down with me! But this is where my motivational piece comes into play this week.

The next time you are having a bad day or something is just really grinding your gears react whatever way you think is right. After the situation resolves, step back and reflect. Everything that happens, you can almost find a way to positive spin the situation.

Examples:

1. You are furious at your partner for not understanding you. You go off because of this. HOLD THE FORT! Discuss with your partner why you feel like you aren't being heard and grow together from the situation. Instead of dragging your partner down, use it as an opportunity to better improve your relationship.

2. The check engine light is on in your car...AGAIN. Initial reaction curse and your day is officially ruined because you are dreading the bill that will come out of this one. BACK UP! Breathe. Think to yourself it could be minor and be thankful that you are lucky enough to have transportation to help meet your personal needs. Cuss a little more and try to make the rest of your day great!

3. He said she said nonsense. Drama. Its the absolute worst. The word drama alone makes me cringe and embodies the word negativity. It is so hard to positive spin any dramatic situation, but I challenge you to find a person outside of the drama to discuss it with to get it all off your chest and not let it get to you. Also, take a good look at the people that are involved within that drama, do you truly want to be associated with them? #ByeFelicia

We live in a society where it is easier to be negative and have negative judgement on one another. Here is my advice. Call people out on it like I had done to me! Some people honest to goodness have no idea they are this way. Some people have no idea it drags others down, it sucks the energy out of everyone when you are around them and when you are with them. Ask people, "Why are you being so negative?" "Now that you said something negative about that person, say three positive things about them!" A positive mindset, truly does lead to a happier life. It makes you value the relationships that you have and care about. And even though it is small, you are making the world a better place to be in and live in and we need more of that!

That's this weeks Motivation Monday.

Thanks for stopping by!

~Em

#MMWithEm